I know the title is dramatic.  I have not had any near-death experiences or anything since the last time I wrote, so no worries there, but just know that this entry will contain two life-altering experiences.  One slightly more shocking than the other.

but a lot has gone on since i last wrote, and since i trust everyone here, starting last friday (december 19)...  Christine's b-day party.

The birthday party was a great time.  It started out with me meeting my "ghost brothers", Rich and Joey - the ghosts of Christmas-Yet-to-Come and Christmas Present, along with Carol, at our favorite Mason-area Irish bar, Brazenhead.  Its one that we frequented the last week or two of our rehearsals for Scrooge.  We had dinner and our first drink of the evening there.  Following that, the four of us made a pitstop at Lon's Pony Keg to buy our alcohol for the evening.  I had made a decision early on that based on the situation with Jason that week, it was a grey goose night.  So I picked up a bottle of that for myself, Joey and Rich got some beer (Rich also bought a bottle of Ouzo, which turns out is disgusting), and Carol got a bottle of wine and some sex dice for Christine as a birthday gift.

When we got to Christine's house, things were already swinging.  It was obvious that a few of the folks there had already gotten into drinking.  She had quite the spread of food (which I added my veggie tray to), and there were quite a few open bottles of booze on the table.  We sang happy birthday to Christine, and cut into her cake.  Joey and I shared a piece, because we are ghost brothers and stuff.

After that, we moved the party up the hill to Mt. Adams (no, there are no mountains in Cincinnati, but very very large hills are plentiful.)  Mt. Adams is kind of the go-to bar-hopping destination for the college-20s crowd.  There are a few spots up there that are a little bit more quiet, and less-club like, but in general its your loud-music-dancing type place to go.  That night that was the atmosphere we were going for.  Rich and Carol, I think, might have felt a little out of place at first, but as the night went on, Carol especially had a really good time dancing.  There were lots of beverages, and every time I turned around (so it seemed) Rich was standing behind me with another shot that he bought for the group.  Because we only went to Pavilion, it ended up being a less-expensive night than I had expected it to be, as we only paid 1 cover charge, and people were just handing out shots, so I think I only bought two drinks as well!

Eventually the party moved back to Christine's, and we had 2 DDs to make sure everyone got back there safely.  Rich, Joey and I had claimed earlier that we were definitely not going to be either of those, so we were not.  Ashley was one of them, and said it was her birthday present to Christine.  I sat in the back of the car that Ashley drove, in between Rich and Kurt (remember Kurt?  I went out with him once a few weeks ago).  Kurt was not feeling so good (already) and "lost his dignity" - that is exactly how he put it - out the door of the car along I-275. 

Overall, good times had by all at the party.

So Saturday, I drove up to Columbus to meet my dad for the concert.  This is the 5th year in a row that we have gone to it.  And since we saw in it Columbus this year, we really only have to hit Cleveland still to have hit all of the major Ohio cities (if you can consider them major).  We saw it the first year in Toledo, then 2 in a row in Cincinnati, last year in Dayton, and this year in Columbus.

We were staying at a hotel on Nationwide Blvd, which was about a block from the arena where the concert was.  So it was convenient because we could park at the hotel and stuff, plus we were in downtown Columbus, leaving us with options for dinner/drinks/etc.  When we got there we saw that there was a bar next door that looked like it could be interesting, and decided to go there for dinner. 

I should have known something was up when dad suggested we order martinis instead of beer.  Now I am a vodka martini drinker (with a twist) so it didn't bother me at all, but he is typically ONLY a beer drinker.  He will occasionally have a martini, but it must be very sweet (the splash of cranberry in a cosmo is not enough sweet for him) so I ordered his drink.  After catching up on what happened with Jason and his ex girlfriend (Dad knew that he and I were not really seeing each other anymore, but no details), and polishing off our first drinks, we ordered dinner and another round. 

As I took the first sip of martini number 2, Dad asked, "so do you want to down that drink or can you handle this now?"  I choked a little on the vodka that was in my mouth, but did my best to cover it up.  I set my drink down and told him to go ahead.  I am beginning to get used to garbage like this.  My dad telling me things when I am sitting with him by myself at a bar.  It is after all, the same situation we were in when he told me about the bankruptcy, etc.  He says "your mom and I are having problems."  I look at him, give him my "what did you do now?" stink-eye and ask what kind of problems.  He told me he was seeing someone else.  When I asked who, he responded with Odin. 

Yep, my father came out to me.  He went on to say that he told my mom 5 years ago, but he had no desire for any of the physical parts of being gay, and I am not sure, but since he is telling my siblings and me, I feel like I can infer that those thoughts have changed?

Now I am not mad or even upset that he is gay.  Despite the fact that I am politically conservative, I also grew up in the theater.  I have zero issues with that.  It is more that he is with someone while he is still with my mom.  That is not ok with me.  Its not like she is seeing anyone else.  So yes, I was upset with him.  I struggled not to cry on and off for pretty much the rest of the evening.  When we went out to grab a beer after the concert, he actually asked me what I thought of Odin.  I really did not feel like that was an appropriate question, and deferred it by saying that I haven't even come to terms with his announcement yet, he is going to have to give me some time to let it sink in before I can really say anything about it.

So yeah, that is fascinating bit of emily information for Christmas week number 1.  Merry Christmas to my family.

Sunday I drove home from Columbus.  I was considering (after the night before) heading back to Cincinnati, because I was not sure how I was going to feel at home.  I really considered heading back south to stay for a few days and then just go to Toledo on Christmas Eve and then leave the day after Christmas because i wasn't sure I could handle being in the same house with dad for a week. 

I know that sounds rather immature and childish, but sorry...

So I spent some time on the phone on the way to Toledo (I decided to be a grown-up and stick it out) talking to Carol and Adam, trying to secure some plans for while I was in Toledo so at least I wouldn't have to spend the entire vacation at home.  And Adam said to me "the one thing I can say for you is that you are never boring."  I guess that is true!

So Sunday evening, my dad is not home (no surprise there) and I am on the couch watching Dick Tracy (my favorite movie EVER) with my mom and brother.  I get a text from Jason.  He is upset.  We go back and forth a few times, I invite him up to hang out with me if he needs someone, and he says he'll call later.

So when he calls that evening, I take the call in my room at my parents house.  We are on the phone for more than an hour.  I don't remember all of the details of the conversation.  He filled me in on the things that happened with Jen.  The fact that he had his feelings sorted out now and he knows that he doesn't love her anymore.  He never got back together with her at all, he just wanted to understand, he just wanted closure, etc. 

And he has it.  I wasn't sure what was going to come of it, but I knew he was going to be in town on Tuesday and he was coming to my parents house.  I figured, we'll talk and sort things out when he got there. 

And we did.  And we had Christmas together.  And we had good family time with both my family and his family together.  And I would say we are back together and moving forward...

I am slammed these days with rehearsal.  So that is why I have not written in so long.  But I am reading all of you!  That's a promise.

Life is beginning to calm down, just a little.  I have rehearsals to look forward to, and so far this group seems to lack some of the drama that I have had to work with in the past.  That is a good thing for sure. 

Also, I am dating again.  I went on a first date last night, and it went really well.  It ended with a very solid hug and an "I'll call you soon."  I am taking that as a positive ending.  But I am not putting all of my eggs in his basket, as I am still afraid to do that after Ben falling off the face of the earth (I did really like him...).  I am not ready to talk about him all that much yet (although Mere, I want to tell you everything.  Email me.)

I don't want to jinx anything.  But know I had this date last night, and I have been flirting with another fella that I see pretty regularly (theater guy, although he does NOT play opposite me, no worries...) and emailing frequently a third guy that I met at the gym.  We haven't gone out yet, but there has been some discussion of drinks on Friday night. 

So...  wish me luck.